the first of what promises to be a long, long, long sequence of seperations and growing pains began this morning for young simon drescher hepburn, who experienced a profound moment of melancholy at his moment of seperation from his withering umbilical nub.
when pressed for comment, young simon responded, "well, we all knew this was coming, it had been shrivelling up for days, but still, there really isn't anything in the books that prepares you for what this moment really feels like. I'm more than a little melancholy right now..."
the post seperation belly and nub are pictured below, this content may be unsuitable for young viewers. parental discretion is advised.
Gross. I can gladly say I missed this memorable moment on our own little one. Congratulations! to you.
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